Transparency at its Best
it's wip. how surprising.
BONUS: SMISH SMASH!
Some... well, introduction statements.
- MAMA LUIGI POINTS IT OUT! (inspired by the internet, credit to the internet)
- REANIMATED RON TAKES BACK HIS BISCUITS!
- KIRBY ROBOBOT
KICKS SOME BUTT!doesn't have an introduction statement.
BONUS: Really, Family Friendly Gaming
They give actually great games some really poor scorings, such as Crashlands and Super Mario Odyssey! Let's see how much dumb stuff are in the Super Mario Odyssey though. Remember this: "Expect the Holy Bible to be used to back up [their] opinions". Because they will give extremely positive reviews to Christian games. And no, I'm not asking you to go against Christians. Because that's wrong.
- First thing's first, what the heck is "PR"? Party Raid?
- Oh look! Family Friendly Gaming is angry about the whole "capture" part because it's basically throwing Cappy at your enemies and becoming them. I wonder if Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon gets critically bad ratings from them. Oh yeah, he's bothered by Cappy, one of Mario's new sidekicks which is a ghost hat.
- Edit: 64/100. The issue got 60/100. Luigi's Mansion and the issue, not this game.
- Edit #2: I suspect Cappy might be Mario's hat from SMO and on.
- New Donk City is his favorite. I suspect that the main reason why they love it is because it doesn't have robots or made-up creatures and just normal humans. Or nostalgia.
- They call Sherms "violent" because they are based off of actual tanks and make you go in first-person shooter mode without the jumping, with you being able to break rocks which can't be broken normally.
- The most stupid comment: "There is a Splatoon mechanic in Super Mario Odyssey where [Cappy] can wipe away poison that is on the ground." I don't think that's Splatoon at all! I think they're talking about the Squee-Gs, which is NOT a Splatoon mechanic, and is only a Splatoon enemy!
- "Decent amount of replay"? Did you forget about the Moon Rocks???
- They call Nintendo greedy just for the game costing $60. What about Electronic Arts and Gameloft? Sure, it is listed as a bad quality, but still.
- When you die, you don't go back to the nearest checkpoint in some occassions. For example, the Magma Swamp does NOT have any checkpoints, and if you die, TOUGH LUCK!
- I'm not going to comment on the "level coins", because they're REGIONAL coins.
- They say that Regional Coins buy things like outfits, but I'm pretty sure they forgot about the fact that some outfits at Crazy Cap must be bought with normal coins and even souvenirs.
- "We need those outfits to get into certain spots in each of the levels." Again, I'm not going to correct them. But they forgot about stuff like going out of the Shiverian Crazy Cap in Boxer Shorts (you know, the one without a shirt) and a Steam Gardener in Mount Volbono who needs a mechanic and somehow sees you as a plumber instead of a mechanic.
- "There is a boss in Super Mario Odyssey that reminds me of false idols." I am pretty sure they're talking about Knucklotec. That boss fight resembles a Olmec head.
- Ending being extremely lame? Nah, it's just average. Though it's trollish because Peach basically not only rejects Bowser, but rejects Mario when she would never do that.
- They say it takes 30-60 minutes to beat a Kingdom. Uhh... if you go for the Power Moons first that is. If you just rush through you complete the Kingdom but you can't move on 'til you get more Power Moons.
- Fourteen levels? They forgot about the post-game levels; Mushroom Kingdom and the Dark Sides.
- Ahh, there's the name! Paul wished the game didn't have capturing and instead cloning. Wait... wouldn't cloning enemies just make the game harder as it just duplicates enemies in order for them to attack you? And wouldn't it make Kirby: Star Allies unpopular for being a 2D reskin of Super Mario Odyssey?
- Graphics: 70%. What about the New Donkers?
- Sounds: 80%. I only listen to the music, but I love listening to funny sounds, such as Ludwig's "DOOOOOOOOOH!" and Cappy's "WAAAAAAAA!"
- Replay/Extras: 80%. Paul, you probably forgot about the Moon Rocks!
- Family Friendly Factor: 60%. Wait, wait, wait. 60%? HOW CAN YOU?! How can you even call this game 40% unfriendly to children?!
- Last Comments (by me, not about the game): HOW CAN YOU GIVE THIS GAME A 72/100?! That's basically the lowest Super Mario Odyssey score I've EVER seen.
Oh well. At least Puyo Puyo Tetris got 90/100, matching up with Bible Adventures, which also got 90/100. However... you should probably search up what's bad about this game. But let's see why this game got a good score anyways!
While searching, they say it's 88% family friendly, which compared with Bible Adventures, is 100% family friendly. This is because of "sexual comments" (i swear ive seen none), "lack of attire" (somebody help me understand what this means), and "mild cartoon violence". Yes, kids. THEY LITERALLY DOWNMARKED IT FOR HAVING CARTOON VIOLENCE. So, what if you watched the Loud House? Would you say it's 60% family friendly?!
EDIT: Sam, you are just idiotic. Why would parents even want to discuss about Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon just because it has ghosts in them? Unless you get in trouble, just why would you even want parents to discuss about Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon, all because it contains ghosts? Also, why would you want this game to be E10+ even? Why? They also bashed DragonVale saying it's 55% family friendly, probably for having wizards and dragons. ALSO TO NOTE: Slammers, Greenies, and Hiders are compared with Casper's friends, when they look nothing like Casper's friends AT ALL. At least they gave Skylander Giants 87-89 scores. But that's mainly because he bulk of the game is puzzles and it's easy for children, which nobody on DarkSpyro seems to understand. Embrace yourself, you might see them bashing games with reviews that will likely to be seen nowhere in nature and favoring actually poor games. Just like an average Trapeetle!
In short, they give Nintendo trash reviews and any games related to Christian stuff good reviews, no matter how trash it is. Yes, some Christian games are good and average.
BONUS: Game Ratings
ONE LAST BONUS: Prepare!
Taylor Swift's ME! is all about self-love and confidence. You know what this means?
REANIMATED RON AND BOING BOING BETTY COME BACK TO SING A SYMPHONY! WOOT!